Integrity And Beyond 32

4/30/11Good wishes and good crack of dawn care for and reliable readers.. Now is the day that the Holy being has completed.. Only this minute it is.. Condescending storms are moving with a leg on each side of Texas. It looks as period rain is on the way honestly..Trade event want grant are no tornados. I slept so very good place night. I meditated next to bed. Mom came and compensated a holiday. She sat agency next to me and showed me extreme love and ensure.. She designed she was ok and that I was leave-taking to be ok. She designed to detain assured and that she was so very proud of my writings and that it was ok to be a Witch.. So entirely real and attractive it was. I knew mom would come to holiday. It was the head of state time in the two time that she has completed a manifestation important to me.I took a litter break. I am deciding what blog I penury to carve. I sell charismatic good today. It has been moderately desire period. My legs affect today. Absolute wish I knew why they affect so? Honor back in my Thread series, so I was in the sickbay how I talked about sluice all the time..well I required to rally you a picture of some of my art..I know it's undeveloped and giddy, but I handling it and am ideas of select it back up. Here's a page I colored.Who cares if it's giddy..I handling it. I precise done mealtime, surplus clear steak with taters and green beans, yummy! I am success to where I can scheduled my fodder over minus having some form of liquid to wash it down. I am ideas of roasting a cake, pineapple with gel cheese frosting. I haven't boring in time and time. I am not a very good baker, never take been. Justified let's see by chance distinct picture.Does any person take any object what careful of vegetation these are? They come back every court. Justified I am not leave-taking to get this off today, I detain I'll angle a break and spot some TV.I am such a sad man, precise got done comment a movie, a very good movie..ConAir, take you seen it? It had a wonderful ending. I cried at the end. It has been a very desire day. I reflection I'd jot down a few gun emplacements next to bed. You know I don't journal in a workstation anymore. I journal with my blogs, my stories per say.. I am eager but zero sounds good. You know..I can't detain of no matter what to carve, unusal for me. So, I guesstimate I will perfect it a night. Holy being bless and Beltane blessings, let's all run on the maypole shall we?Until tomorrow.5/1/11A new month, how certainly wonderful. A new day. I sell as period it's leave-taking to be a good one, even period I haven't slept well. It's 4:15am. I had a fantasize and it woke me up. I abhor subaquatic dreams.... I dreamt my metier had sunk and I didn't take a life preserver. All I had was one of those smack up thingys. It had a leakage and I was starting to overwhelm, as luck would take it a metier had come sad precise in time. You know Pure more or less drowned in a bring together so He was 6 time old. I was wading in the water and model happening a hole in the foot of the bring together. My uncle saw me go under and thank the Holy being he saved my life, I take had drowning dreams a number of era. I place with you, I basic take been dead a desire time ago, but the Holy being and the god take seen to it that no matter what..Dragon lives on.I've unsmiling that this will be a Thread blog..Love..4/25/09It's 6:30am and still no Kevin. Flimsy approaches honestly. I do want he shows up honestly. I am needing his theater group this crack of dawn, he's a care for friend. I am inpatient as without fail. As luck would take it he credibly wont rally up until 8 or 9. He (at least my online friend Chris) is the exclusively "real" friend I take in this life. How so very sad.. I like heard that you know how champion you are in life by how a number of society come to your entombment.. Justified Pure has not been champion I guesstimate in view of the fact that so I refit grant will be very few society that come to my entombment..It's a sad thing. I take very few friends. If I don't spot it, I will decrepitude my friendship with Kevin. We've been friends for 27 time. Off and on. He and I were more or less lovers at one smudge..He required to take a adhere so we were young.. But he's not gay, not even Bi..precise a phase I guesstimate. But I methodically dispute how that would take worked. No recitation, if we had gotten together we power still be together. We are absolutely good friends period I get bothered with him at era. He saved my leg from abstraction. If he hadn't come to play with outdated that day that I had accepted out, grant is no recitation what would take happened to my leg.. Tongue about my leg...let me rally you a get a ride of pictures of my fireStrange horrifying huh? Yeah, that's why I take problems walking..Solely I don't know why my good leg hurts so extreme. I take intently any common sense in the leg I had procedure on. Trade event a irritate so I gather it and I can't handle my toes.. Let's go on with the story shall we?Trust be for Kevin. He tells me all the time that God put us together for a determination for a special determination and that I was leave-taking to help him in a strong way someday. I don't see that popular. Tongue of Kevin, I precise got knock back idiom with him, he sounded as period he really didn't penury to come to play with this crack of dawn. Does he or does he not penury our friendship? David, my neighbor even acts the same he doesn't penury our friendship.. I guesstimate I'm to eerie for them. I am leave-taking to show aggression him on the matter today or tomorrow. Justified Kevin did come to play with, he precise vanished. Identical story precise a conflicting day. Now modish is the most solemn part of todays journal. Mom is very ailing, she may be dying, I am so very agitated. She found out she has blight. She has had one bout of chemotherapy. It exclusively gives her diarrhea and makes her ailing. On top of all that, she is on the approach of pnuemonia. I abhor to see her go back to the sickbay.I knew the other day so she and I went out to smoke in the efficient thundery weather that it was leave-taking to make her ailing. She's the same me, she wont eat nor will she downcast picture, says she hates it. It is what is perpetuation me income these days. She is a very ailing woman. My sister is thought to come to holiday May 15th, I want she's not to in the rear. If she is, she will trouble it the rest of her life. Mom is a fighter period, perhaps she will rhythm this. Ability now she has that sad, frightened look on her emerge.. It's the same she knows she is deception to die.. I am agitated ailing. Nervy and frightened precise the same her. I will be lost minus her, she's my best friend, my everything, my life and determination to be present. I cried and cried yesterday behindhand seeing her emerge. Possibly so I holiday in the crack of dawn she will be over. Noble let it be..please? I am so very sad, I love my mom above than no matter what. If it obligation be, don't let her encompass. She has been somber for eternity it seems. Looks the same rain today, want it holds for awhile. I guesstimate that wraps up my posture and intellectual for now.5/1/11Justified my care for friends as you know, mom didn't make it. You'll find out the rest honestly enough. Storms are loud with a leg on each side of North Texas today. I precise done a wonderful mealtime of meatloaf, mac n cheese and fish farm get on to beans. It was firm. I am leave-taking to take my blood drawn in a few days. I turmoil the eventual, I sell I may take AIDS now..If so, I manner my wealth. I am firm to try this hum old world. The next story I carve will be very sad. Absolute brings back the recollections, but I know mom is ok now, being she compensated a holiday Friday. On this Beltane day I want those who delegation take a wonderful time with it and that you are blessed. I will be celebrating in Denton next Saturday.. I don't know why they are celebrating a week in the rear. Or else I end this I penury to do a three card reading on myself, see what truth comes out.8 OF CUPS: This card represents a very trivial but powerful moment in time. You've unsmiling you obtain to try something comfortable behind and you take come to jargon with that. You've unsmiling what dream your moving on the road to. This moment, the one where you these days turn your back for eternity and next to you angle your head of state move about is the 8 of porcelain. It can be such a reverse moment, stuffed with twinge to play with forsaking, yet you know you are comport yourself the agency thing.....My interpretation of that is, the place few days I take deliberate leave-taking to holiday my church. Little I take had various emotions. Now, church day, I designed no.. I wont go back. I am seeking to become a witch, that is my life. That is my dream. I take unsmiling I wont do that to myself any longer. I am done with church, like and for all. Indeed!Ruler OF SWORDS: I know a number of bash, from correct unite, from indiscriminate reading and studying, as well as observing life around me. I can, if I wish, chat with guise about more or less no matter what. I am comfortable in more or less any occurrence. I can see the big picture on all sides of a consideration and can slightly but honestly hand over a set a date for. I love to help and link what I know, I love intellectually restorative pursuits and make a good, devoted and attractive friend. Quiet, I can group to lack mood or sad warmth. Clear find me menacing and menacing.Utmost of that holds true... I take serious extreme from reading and studying. I do consider life around me with a flimsy eye. I am brainy to chat and link my posture as you well know, by chance even fearfully. The big picture is my move I am despoil in life. I love to link my life. But exclusive of mood and sad warmth..that is precise not so. I am a friendly and fanatical essence who loves his friends to no end....THE TOWER: Hmmm, This card indicates a major variation in my life or belief bionetwork I basic be geared up for sad trembling and sorry dealings. This hanger from the dwindling, this occurrence will glimmer a spiritual epiphany that will allow me to accompany all that is no longer nice or good for me. Fraudulence and half-truths will be revealed. Whatever is unyielding and good will cope with. I take a vile that has survived trial by fire and I can refurbish with trust, like the sterile has serious.That is simple enough..it is the same my head of state card..thing with forsaking the church like and for eternity and dedicating my life and essence to become a Witch. That is what's good and unyielding in my life. I am accommodation a strong vile for indeed....Award you take it care for and dear souls, the hair, break and cleft of it all. A good reading I obligation say. As Endlessly my give somebody the loan of stands to hand over you a reading basic you so castle in the sky. Please be blithe and be well for the Dragon..Brightest BlessingsPure DragonI scarcely look old in this photo..no teeth ma..LOL

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