A ritual/divination to help a friend. A reading of ERL QUEEN 's blog about belief.
My friend's brother was missing (now found, everything's cool) and my ritual was, with one very debatable point, right on all accounts regarding his situation.
Then I read ERL QUEEN 's review of Trance-portation, a book I enjoyed originally but have never picked up again since finishing.
I just realized that my religious beliefs and my religious experiences don't match up.
I am intentionally ambiguous with my stated "beliefs." I don't want to believe anything, I'd rather know. I hate dogmas. While I certainly THINK my ideas about spirituality are real, I constantly remind myself that at any time, for any reason, I could be wrong. It could be, after all, that none of this is real. And of course, I've been telling myself that belief is not the point, anyway.
And yet my experiences are powerful, awe-inspiring, mystifying...but they are real. Real in the conventional way we use that word. When I do divinations, they work. When I do magic, it works. When I offer to the gods, I feel their delight. When I draw signs in the air with my energy, I can see them.
My experiences tell me that Gods, Realms and Powers of every sort are real and full of infinite life. But I always stop short of saying "I believe." Instead I get all mystical and ask "what does it mean to believe anyway?"
But it's "working". Should I just give up the sham? Should I allow myself to believe, believe in the conventional way?
Why not? As long as my beliefs don't hurt others, what's the problem?
What am I so afraid of anyway? I know that of the many possible reasons why I never admit to belief, a big one is primal: I'm worried about what others think of me. And that's a waste of time.
I guess this is why they call it a leap of faith.
Origin: candle-magic.blogspot.com
